2 Reasons Why We Break Promises To Ourselves, By A Psychologist
Summary
Recent research uncovers why personal commitments frequently falter while promises to others remain steadfast. The findings shed light on the psychological factors influencing our ability to keep inner promises, offering valuable insights into self-discipline and accountability.
Key Insights
Why do we break promises to ourselves more easily than promises to others?
Promises to ourselves lack external accountability and social consequences, making them easier to break without eroding trust in relationships or facing emotional conflict from others' disappointment. Brain research indicates that breaking promises registers as emotional conflict primarily when it affects others, while self-promises often falter due to weaker self-regulation and no reputational stakes.
What psychological factors make it hard to keep personal commitments?
Key factors include low self-regulation skills like conscientiousness, optimism bias leading to overpromising, and time blindness where future commitments feel manageable but become unrealistic. People motivated by positive feelings or a desire to please make bigger promises but struggle to follow through without strong planning.